5 Things I Don't Have Time For

Once upon a time I had time for the simple shit...  Brushing my hair for instance. Now, simply chopping all my hair off seems like a better option. I'm a time saving genius! (But seriously, I want my long hair back.)

The more I thought about this, the more I realized there are a lot of every day things I just don't have time for.

1. Charging my Phone

Can we talk about the fact that no phone has the battery life of the Saved by the Bell size phones we had in the early 90's? Because I feel like the battery life on my iPhone is a constant struggle. I have chargers EVERYWHERE.  Bedroom, at my desk, in the car. I plug this bitch in EVERYWHERE. But I don't have time to sit around and wait for it to charge. I just don't.
Why can't I plug it in and have it magically charge in like 10 minutes?

Apple, get on that shit!

2. The School Pickup Line

Before I moved to Florida... I had never seen a real school "pickup line" because in Connecticut the kids either got a bus, or the pickup took all of five minutes. No... not in Florida. If I don't want to sit within the eternal lanes of HELL I have to get there 45 minute early and just SIT in my car and wait. Wait. and WAIT.

I got shit to do. I don't have time to be sitting in the car twiddling my thumbs and playing Angry Birds for an hour. And this is a daily thing. Florida. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

3. Staying Hydrated

Through the course of having kidney stones and having yet another hospitalization recently... I also discovered I just don't have the time of day to drink enough fluids. Do you realize how much water and bullshit you are supposed to drink in a day as a human? I bet you don't. 

I've bought more toilet paper in the past week than I have all year. You think I am joking.

4. Reading My E-mail

I have more than one email account, and all of them are exploding full of junk. Shit I didn't sign up for, and don't want. Especially my blog email. Do you know how many PR emails I still get from when I wrote for Babble? People want me to review everything from their gestational diabetes testing kit to pregnancy related stuff. Newsflash folks. I'm not pregnant. Nor do I plan on getting pregnant anytime soon. Not happening. 

Oh, and a big thank you to my assistant Stefanie who cleaned out my author email account for me because if she didn't I was just going to do a mass delete all. BURNITALLTOTHEGROUND!

5. Doing my Roots

My hair is high maintenance. I never realized the struggle of roots until I cut all my hair off and decided looking like an Easter egg all year long would be a good idea. Like... every three weeks to a month I am in need of my hair dresser (and friend) Raven to come rescue me. This month... I've let it get bad. I think between the hospital and life I just stopped giving a shit. At least for this month. Maybe next month I will care a little more. Maybe. Possibly.

Not likely.

I am sure there is more... a lot more.

But this is my pioneer list of shit I just don't have time for.

I give up. Just... no more!

SAVE ME!