There is No Balance

I have a serious problem.
I don't admit defeat often by any means, but recently with a lot of life changes I've decided to use my blog as a way to help me, not just ramble on about parenting crap.

So, my problem...

Time management.

I am horrible at it. Complete shit. I'm so damn lazy, and it has only been getting worse in the past six months. I really need someone to kick my ass back into shape because I am dropping the ball and fucking up deadlines left and right. My newest book is due out on May 18th. Had to push that back. Thankfully only by a week, but I have fucked myself on my timeline for writing.

Oh, that kidney stone fucked me pretty good too but I am done bitching about him for the time being.

I get on the computer with every intent of working, writing, or whatever is on my agenda for the day... and I end up shopping. Like, five minutes ago I was looking at Biggie Small's t-shirts instead of writing this blog post. I am the epitome of that damn dog in Up.

What was I saying?
Exactly...
See how it goes?

Why am I calling myself out?
In hopes that I will be able to work on this problem. I am thinking of writing myself a schedule, or actually using the fancy Erin Condren planner I spent $75 on last year. By the way, I recommend it completely. Especially with children who all have different schedules. It makes my life way easier most days. If I could only use it for myself too I would be golden.

I'm at a loss.
Maybe I need a new work space?
Maybe I need to de-clutter my life. Because if you could see what my desk looks like... you'd probably have a panic attack. No, seriously. I think that is part of my problem. I'm overwhelmed in a sea of shit that needs to get done.

HELP ME!
I am sending out an SOS.
How do you manage your time? Especially if you work from home.
And when I say work from home, I mean literally WORK from home. A real job. With real deadlines and real expectations that your family depends on to eat.

5 Things I Don't Have Time For

Once upon a time I had time for the simple shit...  Brushing my hair for instance. Now, simply chopping all my hair off seems like a better option. I'm a time saving genius! (But seriously, I want my long hair back.)

The more I thought about this, the more I realized there are a lot of every day things I just don't have time for.

1. Charging my Phone

Can we talk about the fact that no phone has the battery life of the Saved by the Bell size phones we had in the early 90's? Because I feel like the battery life on my iPhone is a constant struggle. I have chargers EVERYWHERE.  Bedroom, at my desk, in the car. I plug this bitch in EVERYWHERE. But I don't have time to sit around and wait for it to charge. I just don't.
Why can't I plug it in and have it magically charge in like 10 minutes?

Apple, get on that shit!

2. The School Pickup Line

Before I moved to Florida... I had never seen a real school "pickup line" because in Connecticut the kids either got a bus, or the pickup took all of five minutes. No... not in Florida. If I don't want to sit within the eternal lanes of HELL I have to get there 45 minute early and just SIT in my car and wait. Wait. and WAIT.

I got shit to do. I don't have time to be sitting in the car twiddling my thumbs and playing Angry Birds for an hour. And this is a daily thing. Florida. Get. Your. Shit. Together.

3. Staying Hydrated

Through the course of having kidney stones and having yet another hospitalization recently... I also discovered I just don't have the time of day to drink enough fluids. Do you realize how much water and bullshit you are supposed to drink in a day as a human? I bet you don't. 

I've bought more toilet paper in the past week than I have all year. You think I am joking.

4. Reading My E-mail

I have more than one email account, and all of them are exploding full of junk. Shit I didn't sign up for, and don't want. Especially my blog email. Do you know how many PR emails I still get from when I wrote for Babble? People want me to review everything from their gestational diabetes testing kit to pregnancy related stuff. Newsflash folks. I'm not pregnant. Nor do I plan on getting pregnant anytime soon. Not happening. 

Oh, and a big thank you to my assistant Stefanie who cleaned out my author email account for me because if she didn't I was just going to do a mass delete all. BURNITALLTOTHEGROUND!

5. Doing my Roots

My hair is high maintenance. I never realized the struggle of roots until I cut all my hair off and decided looking like an Easter egg all year long would be a good idea. Like... every three weeks to a month I am in need of my hair dresser (and friend) Raven to come rescue me. This month... I've let it get bad. I think between the hospital and life I just stopped giving a shit. At least for this month. Maybe next month I will care a little more. Maybe. Possibly.

Not likely.

I am sure there is more... a lot more.

But this is my pioneer list of shit I just don't have time for.

I give up. Just... no more!

SAVE ME!

The Bad Blogger

I'm a bad blogger. I will own that.
The past two months of my life have been... insane. That is the only way that I could actually describe them. There have been so many chances in my house and the shift isn't something I've been dealing with well in terms of time management. Or maybe it is just the fact that I take way too much on and set unrealistic deadlines for myself.

For example: my books.
Yeah. I am going there.
I told myself I would write the final book of The Job serial when I was on my cruise in February, which was also a book signing event. Do you know how many times I actually opened my laptop when I was on that ship? Once. And when I realized the prices they charge for wifi I turned it off, packed it back up and called it a day.

Never mind. I lied. I opened it twice, because I wanted to get neat pictures with my laptop on the beach at Atlantis in the Bahamas.
Exactly... You would have done the same thing.

The cruise was awesome, and I can say I am officially booked to go back next year. I reserved a balcony room to travel with two of my best girl friends in the world. And as long as they keep inviting me back, I will keep going annually. I didn't think a cruise would be that fun, but I guess when you go with some of your best friends... it kind of turns into a party. I can say it was much needed after everything I've been through recently.

Fast forward to last weekend when I magically ended up in the Emergency Room on Easter Sunday. Doesn't that sound like an awesome time? It was exactly how I wanted to spend my night. Some of you may or may not know (because many of you actually read along with my past pregnancies with all of my kids) but I get kidney stones. They started when I was a senior in high school, and never stopped. The last one I had was in 2011 when I was pregnant with Addison. Back then I was lucky enough to pass it.

This time, not so lucky.
I am the kind of person who puts off going to the doctor. So, for the past... month-ish I haven't felt so hot. I know the pains, they start in my lower back, and eventually wrap around. I put it off thinking the stone that was brewing would either pass, or go away. I was wrong.

Not only would this stone not pass, I let it go way too long. To the point where my right kidney was shutting down by the time I made it to the hospital. It was scary as hell, and resulted in surgery and three additional days of being stuck in the hospital on IV fluids and antibiotics.
Wednesday I am going in to have the stone blown up and removed.

I am a fucking fool for waiting so long, and I know this time around I genuinely learned my lesson. It was scary to have the urologist talk about some scary shit. I have kids, and they need me healthy to be there to take care of them. I have no excuses.

Now my parents and nephew are here for the week, and I am going to enjoy their company while I recover, and try to get back to work.

Even feeling crappy, I was able to go to Tampa yesterday and sign. I shouldn't have, and I totally over did it for the day. BUT!  It was awesome to hang out with readers again, and I feel SO re-charged to get back to everything I've been working on.

I promise, I am going to be better at blogging. There is so much going on with me and the kids I plan on documenting. I just need to get my shit together long enough to continually remind myself to post. I'm trying! I swear.

Now, off to the pool before I have to bring Benjamin to register for football. Yes, the time has come for popwarner football.

Oh, and Ben also was his classroom's bobcat of the month!
Talk about a TOTAL proud Momma moment!

Anyways... the rest... is a big too be continued! 

Motherhood Means #2

Day 18 Check In - Advocare 24 Day Challenge

I know today is my 18th's day... and the picture is from day 17 but I am slacking a little bit. Let me spell out my stats now...
Day one: 137 pounds
Day seventeen: 122 pounds
Total loss: 15lbs.
Goal: 115 pounds

If you would have told me going into this that I would make this much progress during the 24 day challenge alone, I would have thought you were a total liar. It has been absolutely amazing how easy it has been to make these minor changes and see the actual results. And I also think that the fact that I can SEE these results is driving me to success. I've tried various diets in the past with little to no results, and I lost interest so quickly because well, I didn't think it was working and in most cases it wasn't.

I've kept up my gym regiment of going every other day, and after the initial 10 day cleanse the eating restrictions have gotten a lot more... flexible. I don't have to live on grilled chicken and veggies (not because advocare is that strict, its just because I am THAT picky that I didn't like a lot of their meal options).

I have a crazy amount of energy, and I actually FEEL healthy. Like, I can feel a change within me. I don't complain about going on a walk with my kids because it doesn't leave me winded. I want to do things, and I don't hate the gym... I willingly jump into whatever it holds for the day. Except leg day. (Fuck leg day) LOL.

That is my newest update... I look forward to reporting at day 24 and showing everyone the progress I've made, and I can tell you that even after these initial 24 days, I am going to be trying out other Advocare maintenance products to continue to live a much healthier lifestyle.
(Advocare is NOT a diet company. It is a HEALTH and NUTRITION company!)

Fitness Friday - 11 Day Check In

I am on day 11 of the Advocare 24 day challenge and I wanted to check in with my progress. First off, I have lost 10 pounds, and while that doesn't sound like a lot... when you are only 4'10" it is a huge loss. Like, a super big weight loss.

I am also down three inches on my waist, and I am physically feeling so amazing. The dietary changes, alongside of the savings I've had on food is astonishing.

Two more weeks to go, and I can't wait to see where I end up!

For more information on the Advocare 24 Day Challenge, check this link out!

The Job Volume One - My Next Project

All work no play for me the past couple days. I am so happy to say I am finished with the first installment of The Job serial. Now, most people may not know what a "serial" is, technically it is a novel broken down into several books. This series is going to be three books.

Volume One of The Job is slated to release on February 3rd, exclusively to Amazon. It will also be available for the Kindle Unlimited program.

Synopsis:

BOOK 1 of 3 Parts!

During the day I’m your average mother of three. The PTA President, football carpool mom, you name it – my kids are into it. But by night I’m someone’s dirty little secret.

I never meant for my life to become what it is. Desperation is a tricky little bitch. My husband of thirteen years left us to fend for ourselves. Doors closed. Opportunities vanished. I saw no other choice.

My world changed when I created an ad. It was dangerous. But it was also empowering.

For the first time in years I feel desired.

This was only a means to an end. Instead one ad changed my life forever.

Length: 22,079 words (8 Chapters)

I am so happy for this to finally be in the hands of my editor!  I always do this to myself, and I wait till the last minute to finish up anything. I ended up writing half the book in two days. But when the story starts to come to me, I just have to jump on it. Now, I have the voices screaming at me for the second installment which comes out three weeks after the first.

So maybe for once I will jump on it and actually get shit done ahead of time instead of procrastinating to my deadline?

HA! Who am I fooling?

Enjoy a teaser for the book ;)

Advocare 24 Day Challenge: Day 4 Check In

Four days ago I started my Advocare 24 day challenge. Now, mind you... I tried this once before and failed by dinner time. Yeah, I know. I have the WORST will power ever. EVER EVER!

I kind of thought by this time into it I would be back to square one.

Let me start out with my day 1 check in.

Weight: 135 pounds
Goal: 115 Pounds
Loss goal: 20 pounds

It doesn't seem like a lot, but 20 pounds on someone who isn't even 5 feet tall is a big deal. A really big deal. That is another problem. Most of my life I have had yo-yo weight. In high school I was barely 100 pounds, on average wearing a size 0-2. Yes, I was one of those girls but I still ate like a horse. Its just how the women in my family (on my mother's side) are. We are all small. I have aunts who are literally, shorter than my petite 4'10" self.

Then I got older and the weight and shitty diet started to catch up with me. My biggest downfall has been the fact that I am super lazy. Like, fast food, takeout, restaurants, etc. I've always preferred shitty takeout over a home cooked meal; which is super strange considering my mother is an AMAZING cook. Like... Martha Stewart ain't got SHIT on her.

So, you can see where the problem began. Having children only furthered my problem. The more kids, the less time I had. The more take out. The more fast food, the less time for actual exercise. The pattern so many of us mothers get into. Its nothing uncommon or to be ashamed of. It is simply real life. McDonalds, and Taco Bell cater to the people like us.

After I had Addison I lost a ton of weight, which I attribute to breastfeeding. I got down to 120 pounds at one point in time, fitting easily into a size 4 jeans. I was beyond proud of myself. I didn't feel as self conscious as I am now. I looked good, and I felt great.

Then she got older. She weaned. I wasn't burning the extra calories. We moved to the South and continued to shitty eating habits with even shittier food. Again, furthering the problem.

Many people can look at me and say... "You don't need to lose any weight..." and I've gotten that. A LOT. But, its not about wanting to be a perfect size 1 model. It's about wanting to be HEALTHY. It's about NOT wanting to be considered "clinically obese" because I am not even five feet tall.

You don't look at me and think... Wow! She looks fat. And if I am being honest... I go out of my way to hide my weight. It mainly hangs in my gut (which I may add was SCREAMING in that dress) or in my ass. Which I absolutely love my thick ass but... I just want to be HEALTHY.

January 1st, 2015

I want to run after my children and not be winded. I want to feel comfortable in a bathing suit on the beach. I want to NOT be considered OBESE!  This isn't about some modern day ideology about how women should look. This is just about being HEALTHY.

With all that being said. I am on day four, and have been flying along.
My day four check in numbers:

Weight: 130lbs
Loss: 5lbs
Loss Goal: 15 pounds

In these first few days all I have gone is clean eating, and the first 3 day cleanse of the 24 day Advocare challenge. I've done two days at the gym (heading for my third in a new minutes) and that is all. It is downright amazing how much can change just by making simple adjustments to your eating. No, I'm not living on carrots or rabbit food.

This morning I had a protein pancake:

All this is... One Banana, 1 egg (whites only) 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla, and my vanilla meal replacement shake. And it was delicious.

Last night?  I made a turkey meatloaf with onions and peppers in it. Delicious.

Anyway... that is my check in for my first couple days. Boom!

Valentines Day by Origami Owl

Have you checked out the new adorable Origami Owl jewelry for Valentines Day yet? If you haven't yet, you can click on the picture above to check out all the new goodies!

A couple special offers I am working on for the months of January, February, and March... because we have SUCH an amazing hostess exclusive:

*NEW* Hostess Exclusive!
With 4 ways to wear this incredible look and a retail value of $161... they'll be going fast! I can BET you that!

Earn yours today by hosting an Origami Owl Jewelry Bar with me! How? Contact me directly at OrigamiOwlDawn@gmail.com

Included: Large Heart Locket, Silver Link Locket, Over-The-Heart-Chain, 7" or 8" Link Locket Bracelet, *Exclusive* Love Infinity Dangle, Red Crystal Silver Dangle, *Exclusive* XOXO Charm, Two *Exclusive* Red Heart Crystals by Swarovski, *Exclusive* Medium Silver Endless Love Round Plate

Now since that is out of the way... I have ANOTHER offer!
If you choose to host a party in the months of January, February, or March... and have a Jewelry Bar total of AT LEAST $750 in retail... I have a special offer for you to become an Origami Owl DESIGNER!  (If you are interested in starting your own business in 2015!)

So let's do this!

Motherhood Means #1

Inspired by true events of my day-to-day life.

Congratulations Florida!

Congratulations Florida on getting it right!
Today, same-sex marriage became legal in the great state I now call home. Typically this wouldn't be such a big deal to me because it was something I had grown so accustomed to in Connecticut. I quickly realized when I re-located to a red state, that not everyone is going to be as liberal as I am.

In fact, the vast majority of people in Florida aren't liberal by any means. Which is a huge problem for me. Alas, politics to the side... I am over the moon that "gay" marriage is finally on the table for all the same-sex couples who choose to marry.

Not only do I have many close friends, and even family members who are gay but at the end of the day it is a basic human rights issue. Bible or not, you can't expect an entire country to follow Christian laws when in fact not everyone is Christian. It is what makes everyone different, and what makes our country so damn great.

Diversity.
Culture.
Differences.

I'm happy for the 21 same-sex couples who married here in Volusia County today. I am over the moon that they finally have the opportunity to be treated the same as every other couple. It truly is a beautiful thing.

I'm also over the moon that my own favorite local watering hole, Garbo's is offering to have someone on site to officiate same-sex marriage all weekend long.

Congratulations to all the couples who chose love today and finally could LEGALLY marry their partner!

(The song may be played out, but every time I see the video... God... I just love it!

Her Glasses

My daughter... she is a unique girl. Much like myself when I was a little girl. And in the past couple weeks she has become increasingly mouthy about what she wants to wear and what she doesn't. Almost as if she has become this fashion icon overnight. No joke.

It started with my pink glasses. One of my favorite pairs I recently pulled out of retirement. She wanted to wear them, and I just couldn't let her. There is no way she can wear them without doing damage to her eyes, and I already have one child that is on the road to glasses, I'm not going to throw another into the mix.

So, in desperation I told her I would get her a special pair of her own glasses. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I offered that though. It took an hour, and a trip to two different stores for her to finally decide on a pair.

The picture cracks me up because it doesn't do her any justice, but she was on a mission to make a funny face in every single picture I took last night.

She wore them to bed. She insists on showing all the neighbors her new glasses. She is absolutely obsessed with these glasses. Oh, and the best part?

She wants more.

All I have to say is Thank God for Claire! 

Next stop, Addison's own fashion blog... or some shit.
Because I have a feeling this is only going to escalate.

My Week in Pictures

Happy New Year!

2015 is upon us, and it has been a super stressful week. I finally got back to "work" and I say this extremely loosely because the children are still off from school until January 6th. Whoever thought winter break should be two full weeks, clearly doesn't have three children in school. 

I took three weeks off from work. I roughly threw in the towel the week before Christmas and trying to catch up hasn't been easy. And it is still going to take another week at least before I am not completely drowning in emails and trips to the post office.

I know I haven't updated in a while, and to be honest I've opened up a blank blog post and tried to write probably six times since my last post.

Today, my week in pictures.

I finally hung the handmade Sugar Skull mask I bought in Charleston, SC in August. I got it for my work space, because I completely fell in love with it. Talk about lazy!

Trying to get back to work... trying to bad. I busted out my Seven James cup figuring she would whip me back into shape. Total pun intended.

New Years aftermath. This is what I looked like when I woke up on New Years morning. I sat down on the couch with my caffeine in hand and started trudging through my to-do list. I got a ton done before the kids woke up too. Because once they are up... yeah. Good luck with that.

Laundry?  Yeah. I went and put a load in the dryer, and when I came back down the stairs with the kids laundry basket... this is what I found. They were both in the laundry room sink just... "Hey, how you doin?"  Um... now if they could only load the washer and dryer for me...

Day one: I've been battling with weight for years. It's like a yo-yo. One month I am a fresh 120 pounds and the next I pack on an extra ten pounds. So, in 2015 I have decided I am going to lose 20 pounds, and keep it off. I'm starting with the Advocare 24 day challenge, and combined with my gym membership, I am hoping to rock this!

Starting weight: 135 pounds

Goal: 115 pounds.

Mini Me... Since we've been out of school, everyone's sleep schedule is completely screwed up. I had Addison in my bed the other night trying to get her to relax, watch some Disney Jr. and GO THE F TO SLEEP!  Well, as I am sitting at my computer working away... I turn around and see this. 

Yup. She is my daughter.

Part 2 of the weight loss project...

Meal prep.

I spent two hours yesterday preparing a week's worth of meals. Lots of chicken, veggies and brown rice. Salads, greek yogurt, fresh juice, etc.  I'm praying I can stick with it.

Last... the mini me again. Last night I caught her in bed like this. Mind you, its 70 degrees out in Florida. You would think that she is back home in Connecticut preparing for a snow storm. Also, can you just note that she has completely taken over my bed? 

Be sure to follow me on Instagram!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time I wrote a blog full time. In fact, I blogger for Babble, Lamaze, The Broad Side, and my own site all at once. Saying I got overwhelmed would be an understatement. I was in way over my head and then I thought it would be a good idea to start writing romance novels on top of that.

Yeah... I know right?

So, I stopped blogging and wrote a dozen books in a year's time. No joke. I put out 8 full length novels, 2 novellas, and 3 novels that were also collaborations with other authors. Overnight Dawn Robertson (my pen name) became an easily recognized name in the Indie Romance community, as well as on the Amazon Best Sellers list. My novel's cracking the top 100 three times.

My blog got shut down.
My dot com expired.
I resigned from Babble, and The Broad Side.
I started focusing on my fictional writing 100% of the time.

The entire time I missed blogging. I missed the personal I put out there with my kids. I missed the opinion pieces, and diving into current events. I missed the bloggers I became friends with. I missed it all.

I've made a couple decisions over the past month. One is that I am going to blog again. I may not be putting up a blog post everyday but I am going to do my best to really create a great space that not only Mom's will love to read, but something that gives me an outlet away from the fictional characters that currently run my life.
 

I've also decided to slow the amount of books I am writing in 2016 and focus on a couple other things (including my three amazing children) like my Origami Owl career. Yes, in the midst of all this I decided to start selling Origami Owl. In my first month with the company... I was one of their top sponsors. Yes, out of the entire company of thousands of women. I went from a Designer to a Leading Designer, and to a Team Leader in just short of two months time.

 It isn't about sales, it is about the community, and working with women I truly enjoy and for a company that I genuinely stand behind. It isn't just a job to me, its a hobby, its a passion. It is downright awesome.

If you are a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) or even a working mom looking to make some extra income, send me a message for some details about becoming a designer! The extra income is awesome!

Lastly... I realize I haven't documented my life in Central Florida with my children yet. There is so much here that we love, and do. Disney, the Beach is mere miles from our house, Cape Canaveral, the Space Center... the list goes on and on. I honestly love being in Florida. And buying a home here solidified we won't be leaving to go back to Connecticut anytime soon.

Hell, I went up there in March this year when I was signing at Authors in the City and I froze my ass off! No joke!

Harper Sloan and I bought literally... EVERY scarf and hat some guy in Times Square was selling one night because we were frozen solid. When they say your blood thins out quickly in the Florida weather... they aren't kidding.

I've also made the executive decision not to sign anywhere COLD during the winter months anymore. It requires a jacket? Dawn Robertson won't be there!  (Maybe... or maybe I just exaggerating right now)

Long story short... I'm back ladies!
And I won't be going anywhere anytime soon.